


thou hast killed for him

by achilleis



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Historical Hetalia, Implied Past USUK, Relationship Study, War of 1812
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25669291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleis/pseuds/achilleis
Summary: January, 1813. United States-Canadian Border. Matthew once knew his brother Alfred. He didn't know who America was. The War of 1812 forged on.
Relationships: America & Canada (Hetalia)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Luke 15:30.

_January, 1813. United States-Canadian Border. Upper St Laurence River._

The twins stared at each other from their respective sides of the invisible line that divided them, standing a metre apart yet feeling like an infinite chasm of unspoken words lay between. All official and unofficial correspondence between the two was written with empty familiarity and clipped sentences, each letter could be summarised with a single question from both. _Why?_ A single word, one syllable. For all their shared language and history as colonies of the British Empire, the two now wordlessly looked at each other and failed to understand what the other had become.

Overhead, the moon and stars illuminated the village of Ogdensburg as it quietly puttered on with its existence in the background, oblivious to the long-awaited family reunion happening only a short stroll away. If a United States or British patrol happened to walk by, there would be a lot of questions to answer and an unnecessary number of unhappy superiors. They had decided through their clandestine letters to meet closer to Ogdensburg than Prescott. Matthew didn't harbour as much paranoia as Alfred did concerning betrayal.

One did always tend to project their own flaws onto others.

The faint shouts of revelry could be heard leaking out from the inn of Ogdensburg, civilians and troops alike rejoicing in the fact that tonight they lived to see another day, drink another beer, bed another whore. Alfred turned around and gazed with what appeared to be envy in the direction of the sounds. He shivered, dressed in a thick navy blue military coat.

Matthew had layered furs upon furs atop himself and they were hardly enough to keep him warm in such freezing temperatures. But he had to see Alfred - had to speak with him to find some kind of closure for their people killing each other. He wanted a solution that didn't result in more deaths. He exhaled through his teeth, hot breath appearing then quickly disappearing into the night's air, stamping his feet on the frozen river and rubbing his arms to warm himself.

Alfred startled at the sound of Matthew stamping on the ice, looking down quickly and attempting to distribute his weight, arms and legs apart. Eyes darting around for any movement, ice fracturing and the British both.

"We don't know how frozen this thing is, stop!"

Matthew grinned, eyeing how skittish his brother was. Alfred was clearly not accustomed to the harsh Northern winters of his youth. He was right, loath as Matthew was to admit it, they didn't know how frozen the St Lawrence River was at this time of year. It was unlikely to break under the weight of the two humanoid creatures standing atop it, however Matthew found he didn't quite care if they fell through. What was another death at this point?

The frozen river made a low cry and thud, ice still forming underneath their boots as they spoke, but remained glittering and intact nonetheless.

"It's fine," he replied, with a dismissive shake of his gloved hand. "Besides, what's the worst that'll happen? We wind up in the Atlantic and eventually the Royal Navy thaw out our frozen corpses, fished from the deep. You don't mind being impressed into service do you?"

It was a cheap shot and Matthew knew it, still grinning.

Alfred narrowed his eyes, shifting slowly until he was upright again and his arms were crossed around his chest for warmth. "I didn't realise how cynical you had become, Matthew."

The insinuation of external influence was not lost on him.

Matthew shrugged and huffed out a humourless laugh. "What can I say? It's through no one's fault except my own. I feel more comfortable with myself recently, more so than ever before."

Alfred snorted in response while rubbing his arms, still cold.

There was a moment of silence before Matthew became uncomfortable enough to try and fill it, avoiding his purpose for arranging this meeting for a brief moment longer. He knew it would not be a pleasant discussion.

"Did you have a fine Christmas?"

He had celebrated a quiet and brief Christmas in Québec with Governor Prévost only a few weeks earlier before leaving to assess the military situation in Upper Canada. Matthew fondly thought back to celebrating Christmas in Europe in previous decades, when Karl and Gilbert had decorated fir trees with glowing white candles and he had joined Francis in mass. The fad had yet to spread in Canada, but Matthew did like to indulge and celebrate the religious holiday with the German immigrants from time to time.

"You know I don't celebrate that European holiday anymore. It's unpatriotic." 

"Of course…"

The two fell back into an uneasy quiet.

Once it had been so simple to converse with him. For all of Matthew's jealousy in the past, he still appreciated the company of the other and they could relax into an easy camaraderie. Now he felt like shaking his head at the thought that he _ever_ felt jealousy over Alfred, the Prodigal Son. He wondered if Alfred would be forgiven if he came running back. It was easy to think that he would be dismissed, but then again...

_Thou hast killed for him the fatted calf._

Matthew looked at the young man standing before him, like staring into a mirror, dressed in his military garb and fur hat. He looked younger than his apparent age with his cheeks flushed from the cold and the slight furrow ever-present between his brows lately. Despite his youthful appearance, Matthew knew Alfred was wiser and more intelligent (more cunning) than he often let on. He had been keeping an eye on Alfred's actions now he was independent. Ambition seemed to poison everyone who surrounded Matthew, he wondered when it would spread to him.

The last time they had seen each other for any longer than guilty glances shared over the battlefield was at the Treaty of Paris almost thirty years ago. Matthew had blended into the background during the signing, knowing there was little point trying to be noticed over the two large personalities in the room. He hadn't exactly been avoiding Alfred since then, but he couldn't bring himself to endure the awkwardness that he had known would pervade this meeting.

He wondered what Alfred thought when he looked at him. Did he still see him as a timid child, holding onto the coattails of the British Empire and peering out behind the legs of older, vastly unknowable nations? Matthew had meant what he said before - that he felt more like himself now. That was what war did to creatures such as them, life suddenly became more defined.

Their identities were nothing if not forged in fire.

This time Alfred broke the silence.

"Join me."

A beat.

"Hell, is _that_ why you wanted to see me?" Matthew's voice came out strained.

"Isn't that why you wanted to speak to _me?_ "

Matthew looked at Alfred, his own expression likely similar, startled and confused. They truly didn't understand each other anymore. If Matthew had been feeling more sentimental, the thought would have saddened him but he found himself too numb to care. Alfred had chosen his path in life and he had chosen his.

"No! I'm happy where I am, I have no issues." Matthew stopped himself from saying 'with _him'_ but Alfred still winced like an angry ex-lover remembering old wounds. It was such a small reaction that Matthew would have missed it if he hadn't expected it. He continued. "Besides, our people don't really mesh for all our shared appearances."

"Then why are you here?"

Matthew paused before responding, choosing his words with as much delicacy that he could muster.

"… I need you to stop hindering trade here."

"You mean smuggling." Alfred didn't sound amused at Matthew's attempt to underplay reality.

"Call it what you will, the fact is it's good for both our people here. Really, the villagers of Ogdensburg would as easily welcome me into their homes and next to their hearth as they would you."

Alfred gritted his teeth.

"I can't allow it to continue, Matthew. I can't have my own people supporting the enemy."

Matthew noticed a tinge of desperation seep into Alfred's tone. They were both very aware of the level of illicit trade happening between Britain, Canada, and the United States, much to Alfred's dismay and Matthew's delight. The war was not following Alfred's romantic and unrealistic expectations. Matthew assumed he expected to march into his lands and be lauded for freeing them from despotism, whereas the ongoing smuggling was only turning the war into a stalemate.

"I don't know what you expect me to do. As much as our people control us, there's only so much we can do to guide their actions." Matthew continued, not caring what Alfred's reaction would be. "I wouldn't stop it either, even if I could. You're not my ally anymore."

Alfred's eyes flashed dangerously. As much as Matthew enjoyed pushing his buttons, he knew when to back off. He was well aware that Alfred found it easier to express difficult emotions through violence at times.

"This is personal for you, isn't it?"

According to Matthew's spies, Alfred's paranoia was never far away from a conversation these days, he was yet again reading too much into straightforward interactions.

"Not for me," Matthew shook his head. He wasn't lying, it _wasn't_ personal for him. "But yes for some of the men it is, if I'm being honest. Captain Forsyth hasn't endeared himself to anyone over our side of the border."

It was one of the reasons Matthew had been ordered to travel to Prescott, the issue of the American Captain Forsyth's raids in Canadian territory could not be ignored any longer. The British needed free reign of the St Lawrence River water route without fear of United States interference. Upon Matthew's arrival to the Prescott garrison, Lieutenant Colonel MacDonnell had made it abundantly clear that he would be taking any opportunity he could to even the score with Forsyth after suffering personal insults from the man. 

With or without Governor Prévost's explicit order.

Matthew kept talking, saying the next thing that came to mind, dreading any return to that heavy quiet.

"You know he isn't taking this seriously, don't you? This is just the bare minimum for my honour. You'll see, he'll try to smooth things over fairly quickly when Europe is under his thumb again and he thinks you're ready to talk."

Alfred snorted. "I find that hard to believe. As soon as Francis has been bent over then everything this side of the Atlantic will become far more interesting."

Matthew quirked an eyebrow at this.

"You think very highly of your own importance."

"Why shouldn't I?" He appeared genuinely confused at Matthew's statement.

For all it was worth, Matthew could understand Alfred's perspective. Only shortly before Alfred left, when the three of them finally shared meals together as adults and colonies both, he had overheard the sweet compliments and adorations whispered to Alfred. It was impossible to escape those triumphant smirks over the dining table as Alfred sought Matthew's gaze, challenging him to say anything. Reflecting back, Matthew wasn't sure what had been political courting, ensuring great swaths of North American agricultural wealth remained British, and what bled into mutual personal affection during the time.

Growing up, he was acutely aware of Alfred's superiority over him, in bravado, in charisma, in desirability. Once it had pained him. But Matthew didn't try to fool himself anymore about what he was worth as a nation, not after stumbling in on conversations about being traded away for Guadeloupe. Matthew knew what he was, colonial security and a warning against the French ever returning to North America; his brother's keeper.

That was a long time ago in Matthew's eyes and not worth dwelling on. He would accept each day as it came and today he was in the superior position to Alfred. While he would never be as desired, as _wanted_ , he at least was respected in a way Alfred never was

Matthew just shrugged in response, not knowing how to respond.

"He won't commit to this, I'm telling you."

"Please," Alfred wore a small smirk on his face. "this is just the second part of the Revolution, it was always bound to come… I just hoped my brother wouldn't turn against me this time."

Matthew choked out a laugh, shocked but mostly irritated.

"Are you delusional? I don't know if we're even capable of having families, let alone be genuinely related to anyone. Besides, I've always been loyal to my people first, the British Empire second, and _you_ last of all."

Alfred frowned.

He didn't want to admit it though, that he considered Alfred to be his brother too. Didn't want to give Alfred that small victory of highlighting Matthew's perceived fraternal betrayal. He prided himself on being the loyal ward of the two, the one who stayed. But he stood by what he said, for creatures such as them there was no such thing as family - life was just an endless rotation of allies and foes. However, it was a personal truth that they considered themselves twins. It was something hushed and promised to each other under bedlinen as small children, hiding from the monsters in the darkened corners of their world.

_We are brothers. Twins. Please don't leave me. Please notice me._

"Look. We can go back to our respective sides and sit next to the fire if you just promise me you'll stop interfering with the trade." Matthew was beginning to feel fed up at this point, this was a mistake coming to see Alfred. His own nostalgia had morphed the idea of Alfred into someone more patient and less narcissistic - more amenable to discussion. Tricked again by his own emotions.

A curt laugh cut through the quiet air but there was no kind expression on Alfred's face as he stared at Matthew.

"That's out of the question. Let's head back as soon as you promise me you'll stop the smuggling."

"I'm not going to do that."

"So this meeting was a waste of my time then." Alfred spat the words like venom. "You won't join me. You won't stop the smuggling. Why did you really want to meet me?"

Matthew thought hard at this. When organising this meeting he had thought about the logistics of war, perhaps they could work out some differences without further mindless bloodshed. But was it about that? That discussion could have been done through penning letters. Maybe it would have been possible to negotiate if done through the faceless and unemotional route, without their past bubbling up in their throats and spilling over in curt words.

More likely, it was because he was lonely and trying to seek out that familiar face of his youth, to seek out the unconditional love that once came with the other's blue eyes.

He missed Alfred.

But this man standing opposite him on the frozen river - only four inches above another uncomfortable death - was not Alfred. There was an inhuman ambition evident in his icy blue eyes, once warm like the summer sky, now akin to lightning cracking across the night and hurtling towards a lone tree in a field. Flickering and calculating each movement Matthew took, ready to strike if Canada grew too tall for the pleasure of the United States of America.

Hell, if he was going to admit any of that to this man though.

He sneered instead.

"Maybe I thought in gaining your independence you also would have gained the ability to converse like an adult. I can see I was mistaken."

The dynamite had been lit. He waited for the explosion.

It didn't come.

Instead, Alfred's expression echoed his own: irritated, sneering, cold.

"You'll see my side of this war soon enough, Matthew." Derision and malice dripped from Alfred's tone. "You just haven't matured enough, you're still a child in some ways, chasing any attention you'll be given."

Matthew felt his anger flare up, almost admiring how Alfred poked at his insecurities so efficiently. But that was enough. He was capable of weighing up the options available in their situation and there was nothing desirable about becoming Alfred's lackey over Arthur's ward. The condescension of Alfred's words made him feel jumping until they both fell through into the icy black water.

There, transported down the river into the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, the two of them floating in the darkness and not worrying about the demands of the ravenous world. Maybe they could act like brothers again then, without the Europeans guiding their hands even in distance.

"It may come as a surprise, but not everyone is desperate like you to bite the hand that feeds them!" Matthew snarled. "You and I have next to nothing in common that is of any importance. In fact, the best thing you could do for your people is crawl back to Arthur and beg for him to take you back before you collapse in on your own egomania."

The sound of the freezing water beneath their feet seemed to thunder in his ears, louder than anything.

A small flicker of guilt curled in Matthew's gut at the sight of Alfred's agape expression, he felt like he had broken some unspoken taboo - mentioning the name of the one Alfred appeared to hate most. Matthew expected rage, expected this man who he once understood to leap across the river and teach Matthew to never speak to him like that again. Instead, there was a wounded expression on Alfred's face, once again subtle enough to be missed by anyone who did not know him.

It was clearly a quiet hurt that reverberated within Alfred's heart, for all his crass celebrations after his Revolution and sickening patriotism, he was just a boy deep down who wanted love and for that love to never leave him alone.

_Please don't leave me._

If they were not nations, if they were not at war, Matthew would have walked over and comforted this man, one of the few who could ever _know_ him on this continent.

But that was not the case and so he did not. Instead, he cleared his throat and continued.

"I will stand by him through this. I care for him too much to leave now."

"You…" An uncharacteristically small voice cracked before Alfred cleared his throat, strengthening his tone. "You're brainwashed by him! I know! I was too once!"

The fleeting weakness had disappeared only to be replaced with paranoia. Now he stood pointing accusingly at Matthew, anger flashing in his expression. Matthew shut his eyes tightly, inhaling deeply through his nose before speaking in a loud voice, halting Alfred before he continued.

"No!" Was he yelling? He couldn't tell. " _You're_ the one who's brainwashed. Alfred used to be my brother, I once _knew_ him. I don't know who you are, _America_."

Canada stared at the personification of the United States of America across the frozen river one final time, taking in his shocked expression and not caring about the quiet that blanketed them, smothering any chance of them rekindling any fraternal love. He turned and walked away from Ogdensburg without a word.

* * *

The month after, late in February, Canada led his troops to victory against Captain Forsyth's men. There was no guilt in his expression as he made eye contact with his brother across the frozen lake, both paused for a moment in the chaos of war, a quiet vista of brotherly understanding amidst gunpowder smoke and the screams of the dying. There was no hesitation as Canada raised his rifle and gunned him down.

Blood staining his coat. Red on blue.

 _Really,_ Canada thought, reloading, _war was a time for flourishing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the next chapter for the full list of references used. I have attempted to include summaries for quick reading! I hope you find it interesting.
> 
> 21/11/20 EDIT: Removed mention of Ludwig and replaced it with Karl (HRE), since the Holy Roman Empire only dissolved in 1806 after the Battle of Austerlitz. 


	2. Reference List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't judge my poor referencing… I am not a historian.

Ogdensburg, USA, and Preston, Canada, two towns along the St. Lawrence River, had a complicated relationship during the War of 1812. They depended on trade between each other and had friendly relations. British officers would stroll along Ogdensburg streets at will and were often the guests of notable residents. Landon, Harry F. “BRITISH SYMPATHIZERS IN ST. LAWRENCE COUNTY DURING THE WAR OF 1812.” _New York History_ , vol. 35, no. 2, 1954, pp. 131–138. _JSTOR_ , www.jstor.org/stable/23153040.

In 1812 most of the Royal Navy was in Europe, leaving only the HMS _Africa_ and two dozen smaller vessels patrolling the Atlantic. The US Navy was not any better, consisting of only 150 vessels (compare this to 1,000 British warships at the time) with no ships-of-the-line and only seven frigates. The British impressment of American sailors (quite often British deserters, as Britain did not recognise the right to relinquish ones British citizenship) to man their recently expanded navy during the Napoleonic Wars was a cause for the outbreak of war. Kert, F., 1997. _Prize And Prejudice: Privateering And Naval Prize In Atlantic Canada In The War Of 1812_. St. John's: International Maritime Economic History Association.

The War of 1812 sparked a sense of Canadian identity linked to loyalty to the British Empire, particularly evident in Upper Canada where the "militia myth" was spread - a patriotic yet wholly inaccurate tale where their militia managed to fight off Ameican invaders without the help of any regular British troops. Stagg, J., 2012. _The War Of 1812: Conflict For A Continent_. Cambridge University Press.

Apparently after the American Revolution Christmas fell out of favour with many people, due to it being considered an English custom. Please take this with a grain of salt, it was difficult finding more than one reference for this. There was reference made to Protestant denominations opposing Christmas in the early nineteenth century. This is honestly a headcanon at this point, that Alfred would be as fervently anti-English as possible. Andrews, P., 1975. _Christmas in Colonial and Early America._ United States: World Book Encyclopedia, Inc.

The ambition that Matthew is referring to is the Louisiana Purchase from France in 1803. This benefited the US by allowing for free movement through the Missouri and Mississippi waters and granting ample space for American expansion. Balleck, Barry J. “When the Ends Justify the Means: Thomas Jefferson and the Louisiana Purchase.” _Presidential Studies Quarterly_ , vol. 22, no. 4, 1992, pp. 679–696. _JSTOR_ , www.jstor.org/stable/27551031.

Land was a non-issue to the US at this time, after the Louisiana Purchase, the motive of the US was to occupy Canada to minimise British capacity to harm America via exerting commercial and naval control. Stagg, J.C.A. “James Madison and the Coercion of Great Britain: Canada, the West Indies, and the War of 1812.” _The William and Mary Quarterly_ , vol. 38, no. 1, 1981, pp. 4–34. _JSTOR_ , www.jstor.org/stable/1916855.

Many Americans incorrectly assumed Canada would embrace their invading armies. The diverse mix of Canadian inhabitants, including French settlers and loyalist Americans who had fled to Canada during the American Revolution, would have gained little benefit from US rule. National Park Service. 2016. _"The Acquisition Of Canada This Year Will Be A Mere Matter Of Marching"_. [online] Available at: <https://www.nps.gov/articles/a-mere-matter-of-marching.htm>

The Battle of Ogdensburg was sparked by a number of factors, including Captain Forsyth's garrison actively harassing British supply boats and raiding a number of Canadian towns. Lt. Col. George MacDonnell, the British officer behind the attack on Ogdensburg, visited Forsyth under a flag of truce to complain about his "predatory" and unmilitary-like behaviour, but was met with insults. He admitted later that he was "bent upon chastising the personal insolence he had…received from the American Commander." The War of 1812. 1999. _An Account Of The Battle Of Ogdensburg N.Y., February 22Nd, 1813_. [online] Available at: <http://www.warof1812.ca/o_burg.htm>

Matthew was right. The British were _not_ taking this war seriously, at least in the time this fic takes place, where the predominant aim of the British was to return to peace without concession, having lost interest in America in autumn of 1812 and focusing more on Napoleon's Russian campaign. In late November 1812 British policy changed and there came a push for a more offensive campaign to secure peace, this dispatch from London only reached the British forces in North America in late February 1813. Lambert, A., 2012. _The Challenge: Britain Against America In The Naval War Of 1812_. London: Faber & Faber.

Alfred was right too, in the end. After the defeat of Napoleon in early 1814, Britain was able to commit to the war in North America. Britain's focus was on defending Canada and conquering American territory to improve their position in the eventual peace talks and negotiations. Forty-eight thousand troops were sent to North America, more than the number of British troops at the Battle of Waterloo the following year. Black, J., 2012. _War Of 1812 In The Age Of Napoleon_. Norman: University of Oklahoma Press.

As soon as the St Lawrence River froze over during the winter of 1812-1813, trade (read: smuggling) between American and Canadian towns continued in "open defiance of President Jefferson's Embargo and Non-Intercourse Acts". This was mostly due to Upper and Lower Canada not producing enough food for soldiers and civilians as well as American farmers taking advantage of the competitive prices offered by the British Army's Commissariat Department. Mackay Hitsman, J. "DAVID PARRISH AND THE WAR OF 1812." Military Affairs 26.4 (1963): 171. ProQuest.

Matthew is referring to the Treaty of Paris in 1763 after the Seven Years' War where France left Canada to Britain in order to keep Guadeloupe. The issue of Britain choosing the prosperous sugar colony of Guadeloupe or the vast agricultural resource of Canada was a contentious issue. Historians argue that Britain chose Canada over the more valuable Guadeloupe to prevent future wars with France in North America. Additionally, there was the moral argument that Canada should be retained in order to protect American colonists. Bellot, L., 1960. _CANADA VERSUS GUADELOUPE IN BRITAIN’S OLD COLONIAL EMPIRE: A STUDY OF GEORGE LOUIS BEER's INTERPRETATION OF THE PEACE OF PARIS OF 1763_. Master. The Rice Institute.

On February 22nd 1813 MacDonnell attacked Forsyth's troops crossing the frozen St Lawrence River, supposedly acting against General Prévost's orders. The Americans were accustomed to seeing British troops drilling on the frozen river but were taken by surprise when the British suddenly attacked. Forsyth and his riflemen fled from Ogdensburg, and the St. Lawrence River supply line was freely available for British use for the remainder of the war. Grodzinski, John R.. "The Battle of Ogdensburg". The Canadian Encyclopedia, 04 March 2015, Historica Canada. https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/the-battle-of-ogdensburg.


End file.
